First Kiss

We can all agree that first kisses are among the most important things a person will experience in their life. Well, sadly, I am in love but have very little recognition of the first kiss my boyfriend and I shared one sloppy drunk night back in March of 2010. It was over a year ago that I finally broke down and gave in to my wants for him. However, I did cheat on my boyfriend at the time...If you can all go backwards and find posts about Conner, you'll see what exactly was wrong with our relationship that drove me to this.

Alright, so, here's the back story.

I met Scooter during an ITS show at the end of the school year, 2009. He was a freshman, I was a junior. All of the girls were head over heels for him and it wasn't hard to see why. I mean, he was beautiful, and definitely not a beauty worthy of a freshman boy. I always denied it, but I secretly thought he was majorly attractive. I was really ticked when I found out how young he was. Also, he did make out with one of my good friends and she liked him a lot. I wasn't stepping into that territory. I was awkward and shy and not worthy of such a cute boy's friendship. I knew of him, met him slightly once, and never bothered to talk to him.

And I say I met him slightly once because Annalisa introduced us, but all I said was hello. And my goodness, did he have beautiful eyes? Ugh. Blue as the fucking sky, I swear. Wow, just...I was speechless. He was lovely.

Anyways, so we never talked, ever. And a year goes by and we're both doing ITS shows once again. Well, he was in a different show from me, like before. Good thing that this time, he wasn't a pirate with all this stage make up and I wasn't an old lady with all my ugly and awkwardness. So, it's the night of the show and I get panicky. It's the first time I'm in an actual major role, and I'm about to go on. However, my blood sugar dropped, literally. It bottomed out on me when I needed it to be strong. I was freaking out. I had to get a glucose tablet! But I didn't have any time to run back to the trailer to get one.

I started to freak, telling people that I needed someone to help me. No one was available. Then Scooter walked by and I literally grabbed him and ordered him to go get my bag. I told him exactly what it looked like and that if I didn't get it, I was going to pass out. He ran out there and then was back in an instant, I took a glucose tablet, and my blood sugar was raised enough to be strong. I gave him a hug as thanks, but when his hug was shitty, I made him do it again.

And thus...interaction. We did the shows and I oogled over him in the seats as he played his part of extremely nervous, extremely adorable mail man in love with a girl. It was amazingly awesome.

Anyways, we never really interacted much after that, until my friend Mike had a get together at his house. Everyone was going to be there. And by everyone, it included my sort of boyfriend (soon to be boyfriend) at that time. However, at this party, I couldn't help but flirt with pretty much everyone. Especially after Conner went home early. I flirted a bit with Cody Gates and he gave me his hoodie and all this other cute stuff. But when everyone went home and only a few stayed behind for a sleepover, that's when the real fun started.

I was interacting with Scooter a bit because everyone was talking in a group. I only knew a couple of people there, and then suddenly someone had the bright idea to have a 'man challenge'. Basically, we had to go skinny dipping in the freezing February weather. I was game for it, and was in fact the only girl who went with it. It was Mike, Scooter, Aubrey, Fernando, my best friend Randy, and I all skinny dipping at the pool. Well, the guys went first. Aubrey, Fernando, Scooter. Then no one else wanted to go. I was way too shy. But, I got the courage in the last couple of seconds and decided to do it. So, I hid behind a wall and undressed, then told all the guys to close their eyes.

"I'm not going to lie...I'm probably going to look," Scooter said. I was a bit hesitant after that, but Randy told me he'd make sure they weren't looking. Of course, I didn't mind it if Randy saw; we were really good friends. But anyone else...Oh no. I ran out of the little closed space I was hiding behind and got in the pool, did the whole challenge, and sat on the stairs. I was covering myself as best I could, because now everyone was watching. I ordered them to look away so I could get dressed, but no one did. (Guys...)

Then I ordered Aubrey to get my bra for me at least so I could prance over and get dressed. Scooter kept telling me to get out of the pool because I was going to get sick. I wasn't falling for that one. The rest of the night was just us having fun and eventually, everyone went to sleep on Mike's bed. Well, Randy tried cuddling up with me, and so did Scooter who actually laid across my chest and used my boobs as pillows. This irritated Randy, who's always kinda protective. Anyways, I ended up cuddling up with Scooter on my chest, scratching his back and biting his ear. It was all in good fun!

We then started to hang out on a regular basis. Everything was cool. I had a boyfriend, we were really just friends, we flirted, but that was it. Eventually, I decided to take him to a party with me. At this party, of course, I got fucked up. I planned on staying the night. Well, we both got to drinking and talking and flirting and being just all over each other. I dragged him outside with me and around a corner where no one could immediately see us. Then I told him I just wanted to talk for five minutes and I'd let him go.

Well, he got close to my face and I was backed up against this wall. We were really really getting into each other, staring each other down, biting our lips, etc. It was getting hot...Well, hot by drunk standards. Eventually, he cut me off and just went in for it. We made out briefly before he told me that we could go to the van for privacy. I knew what that meant and although it felt wrong, it felt so right. We disappeared to the van where of course, we both began to get naked to have some hot, horrible, drunk, regret filled sex.

But, we were interrupted when Mike and Alex came banging on the van. Mike had told Alex that he had seen us making out and because I had a boyfriend, he had to stop us. I felt totally disgusted and what I was doing and rushed away, eventually puking up all the alcohol and passing out on Alex's couch. I woke up the next morning without a single idea what had happened. Scooter was laying on the other end of the couch and woke up, looked at me and smiled. I just looked away in confusion. Later, I found out all about my mistake and I was regretting it deeply.

A couple days later, I apologized about everything and I eventually went on a break from Conner. Scooter and I had sex and when I got back with Conner, Scooter and I still hung out. We went to some chorus concert thing at a different school and ended up at the softball field, making out against the chain linked fence. It was a messy situation, sneaking around. But our kisses were never special until I fell for him.

I just kinda wish our first kiss had meant something to me. I wish it had been perfect. However, at the same time, I know that it wouldn't have been too great if I changed it. Things wouldn't be as perfect as they are if I went back and redid our kiss. I'm really happy at the way things turned out.