It's Killing Me

All of it. Everything. The weight of my problems. Having no outlet. I can't do this anymore, not by myself. I just can't. I have no one to turn to because no one seems to want to hear it. I've never felt more alone in my entire life. I just don't know what I'm supposed to do... My mother ran away and abandoned us. She could care less because she's off in fantasy land with her boyfriend, driving around the United States on a truck like she is free as a bird. She replaced her family with his and didn't think twice about it. Even now, after I tell her how I feel, it's like nothing will change. Everything will just keep going how she wants it to go because she's so fucking happy now. And my sisters...they've replaced me too. They have Taylor, and her perfect, awesome self to keep them company. Every time they spend any time with me, they're bored. I have nothing in common with them and I guess that's just how it will always be. They have a close friend and a sister in Taylor and I'm just the stupid girl who thought that they cared. They don't spend time with me or speak to me unless I initiate it. I must really be boring to them...So of course it hurts when the person who hurt me the most takes the only two people I thought would still be there... I just want my life back. I want to be happy again every day. I'm so tired of going back to the way I used to feel, to the way I used to be. It's like all of my progress has gone out the window. I want my family and my best friend and my smile... Scooter doesn't even bring me comfort anymore. Instead of just holding me and telling me it'll all be okay, he talks about how I shouldn't want Taylor back and how I'm being overly dramatic about it. I know I have new, wonderful friends in my life, but it's not the same as having a best friend for years and years. She was the only person I could go to when I needed it because I knew that she'd understand. Now, I have no one. It's like I'm standing in a crowded room screaming for help and no one can hear me...